You’re not in college anymore

This week has been incredibly hard for some reason. The past couple weeks I’ve been on a weird work schedule and this weekend, I’ve been doing even more driving than usual and I think it’s wearing on me.

I went to a family reunion today; by myself (my dad came in later) for the first time. It was odd being there and mingling and seeing family I haven’t seen in a while alone. It made me feel miserably disconnected from my family and made me realize how much my dad is kinda the voice of our family. Everyone loves him; he’s the one that they go to for advice, for someone to listen when they have a problem. But when I walked in there today, I felt out of place somehow.

I’m not saying this to be prideful (great intro, I know ….) but I think part of it is that I’m the only one that went to a four year public college. I’m a graduate. (I’m going to be completely honest here ….) I sat there today and told myself: you are not better than anyone. But deep down, I look around and think about where I’ve been in the past year, what I’ve done. I could barely relate to any of them. Everyone looked tired and worn out. Conversations I overheard were about how times have changed since they were young and failing health.

At one point I looked around and suddenly felt very uncomfortable with so many people around me. Sometimes I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t understand why I get closterphobic with people close. It doesn’t bother me when I’m on a public train or on a busy city street, but get more than three people I know surrounding my desk or around my personal space and suddenly I lock up and have to shut myself in.

It’s been an emotional roller coaster with Myra’s family being upset about their mother who is in the hospital after falling and breaking her hip and trying to figure out what to do with two family functions scheduled within an hour of one another and trying to figure out how to see everyone in one weekend. I’m realizing that this is not a competition … and I shouldn’t be trying to cram everyone into one weekend.

I’m realizing more and more every day that at some point, it’s up to you to choose your own path based on what’s best for you. I’m trying to do that while keeping my values in line and keeping my parents happy. But sometimes what you want isn’t always going to make them happy – it doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it’s just different. And that’s ok.

the Hot Club of San Francisco @ DjangofestNW

Someone in my building was listening to gypsy jazz the other night. Yesterday, as soon as I woke up I went to my stack of CDs and picked up my only gypsy jazz CD: The Hot Club of San Francisco. I bought it in my freshman year of college after seeing them play on campus. I went because I had to attend a concert and write about it for my music appreciation class. This CD was the soundtrack for that semester. The soothing melodies kept me company at night when I was far from home and all things familiar and making a way for myself.

I actually picked this particular concert because I liked the design on the place cards that were on the dining hall tables. And I’m so glad I checked it out.

And thank you to the neighbor that reminded me of this group.

Lending a hand

At least 3 blogs in my Google Reader have been talking about Stephanie Nielson and the plane crash she and her husband were in last week. There are auctions in progress to benefit her and her family and Jordan at Oh Happy Day made it so easy to spread the word that I couldn’t help but post it here.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Last week Christian and Stephanie Nielson were in a very serious plane crash. They are a young couple with four children under the age of six. They are in critical condition. Stephanie has third degree burns covering 80% of her body and Christian has third degree burns over 30% of his body. The recovery will be very long and very expensive.

If you are able, please consider contributing to this fund that will go directly to the family. http://www.nierecovery.com/

Today, several websites are auctioning off items for their benefit. Go here to see the comprehensive list: http://www.designmom.com/ .

Updates about Stephanie and Christian here: http://blog.cjanerun.com/

I’ve taken the first step

In a moment of desperation and a night where I’m in a bitter mood (for no particular reason at all other than just to be in one), I started an online application to Medill at Northwestern in in Evanston, IL.

I’m planning on taking the GRE in October and am looking forward to applying to schools and seeing where this next chapter takes me. I’m itching to get back to school; to continue challenging myself and to grown and learn.

So far I’m thinking:

• Medill
• UC Berkeley
• Qunnipiac
• Syracuse
• Something else …

So far, my first inclination is that this will cost some dough.

My next step is to start saving. I’m going to become Penny Saver Jillian (Ok, within reason) and I also need to work at paying off my credit card debit. The school loans and car payments will continue.

OH …. and I just realized that tuition for all these schools range around oh … $40-50 grand.

Three Cups of Tea

I am less than 50 5 (+acknowledgments) pages from finishing this book.

After a failed attempt at K2, the second highest peak in the world, Greg Mortenson had a desire to help the people in met in Korphe.

His quest led him to put others before himself and he slept in his car and kept his few worldly possessions in a small storage building.

And I must say, it’s been enthralling. I strongly encourage you to read it. Near the very end, it starts getting political and sheds some light on the current administration.

Greg Mortenson is inspiring. His work deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for the way he has built relationships with people in Pakistan.

I’m not going to say much more about it … a simple Google search will provide all the information you could want to know about him.

His story is truly amazing and a definite must-read if you have any interest in the world around you.

Routines

My routine upon walking into my apartment is as follows:

• Check what time it is on my computer’s screen saver at the same time I’m locking the door behind me.
• Look in the fish bowl to see if Be-bo is still moving around. So far so good.
• Shake the mouse as I walk by the table.
• Open the fridge and debate if I want something to eat.
• Sit down at the table, check email, flickr, twitter, facebook and myspace. Check and skim items in my Google Reader.

On bizarre assignments

Today was the last day of a very long work-week. I worked 6 days in luau of having 5 days off while I was in San Francisco and I’m now questioning that decision. It takes a lot out of me when I do 6 days in a row.

This morning, after breakfast at the Blue and White Grill, I headed to a grand opening of an optical shop and then to the Jefferson County Fairgrounds to cover the small pet show (more on that later folks). I swear the assignments I cover get more and more interesting.

While I was interviewing the owners of the optical shop, I thought they were going to get into a fight a couple times. One would tell the other “this is more important right now.” And then we had a discussion about the other’s title. It was slightly awkward at times.

After taking a break at Panera with a cheese “pastry” and a cup of hazlenut coffee, I headed to the Jefferson County Fair. This was my third trip to the fairgrounds this week and this time was for my second “small pet show” this year. I previously covered it at the Berkeley County Fair and it was blessed event. A quail got loose, making for some interesting content. But as soon as I entered the show barn, I knew it was going to be a long event.

While I was sitting there with the photographer, a goat came over and started to climb on my lap. I started laughing and pushing it out of the way. Fortunately, the photographer’s lense cap was still on the camera or he would have documented the whole thing.

I basically covered a pet show where there was no competition … everyone got a ribbon. Somehow, I got a 10 inch story out of it but I wondered the entire time how I would find something to write about.

This week the public schools start back. I’m overhearing lots of conversations that start with “how was your summer?” It’s nice to know that I don’t have to go back this time and my summer doesn’t have to end just because classes resumed. It is nice to have old friends back in town that I used to hang out with on campus. Even though I’m not 100 percent content here, it’s nice to have them call and ask if I want to meet them at Waffle House or call them up to go see a movie.